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The Narcissistic Meltdown: What Can We Learn From Donald Trump?

Watching the 45th president of the United States melt down all over social media and say things like "I am a legitimate person" as a defense would be funny and mildly entertaining if it wasn't all so horrifying to realize that this person had (and likely still has in some form) many of our nation's top secret intelligence documents. Ask anyone who's ever had a relationship (of any type) with a narcissist go south if they're surprised about any of this or his behaviors and I'll tell you--we aren't.

In the most recent developments, there has been leaked audio recordings of a conversation he had with a couple of (and I think this is relevant) young attractive women where he very clearly showed them classified documents (he literally said that they were classified) that "proved him right" in some perceived war of accusations between him and a general about who wanted to go to war with Iran. I would bet money he (or his team of flying monkey lawyers or other sycophants) leaked that audio as a way to "get ahead of it" or do damage control.

All of this speaks so much to the narcissistic, borderline, or other personality disordered person's motives and modes of operation. It's an almost textbook example of their desperate need to be right and to prove their rightness. There's a whole 'nother topic--the rabbit hole of the motives behind him taking all the boxes of classified documents in the first place, but I digress (I'm good at that). Back to his defense of the leaked audio recordings of him showing the documents to the staffers.

For those of you not following along at home, here's the short version of the audio:

Trump: Hey--look at these documents! They're top secret but look--they prove I'm right.*

Staffers: (heeheehee) oh wow that's so cool (heeheehee)

Trump: Yeah, these documents are so classified. I mean, I could have declassified them when I was president, but I didn't, so they're still so classified.

Staffers: (heeheehee) Hillary would have emailed it (heeheehee)

Trump: I know, right? But look at these top secret classified documents! They totally prove I'm right, do you see?

Staffers: oh for sure

Now fast forward to what he's saying now about that recording (with the narc-decoded translations in parenthesis): That audio was leaked and we should go after the leaker and the corrupt media (I leaked the audio in order to try to control the narrative because I am corrupt).

What audio? I never saw any recording. (classic denial). But the sound of papers you hear in the recording that I definitely never heard is totally not classified papers from our military about plans for war with Iran (those are totally classified papers from our miliary about plans for war with Iran). I didn't do anything wrong (I'm so guilty it's crazy that anyone still believes I'm not). I'm a legitimate person (I'm so damaged and desperate for approval and to be loved and I will do anything to prove it).**

He's just out there flapping his gums and tweeting (or whatever you call it over on his knock-off platform) his way to a guilty verdict. He's building a pretty air-tight case for the prosecution--all in his own unhinged and often misspoken or misspelled words.

Losing power and control or being shown for who they are is a narcissist's worst fear and they will stop at nothing to try regaining control of the narrative. But here's where understanding the playbook and creating a profile of the narcissist can work to your advantage in court. Playing your cards right and following the rules, while the narcissist spins out of control and shows the court who they really are, all by themselves, can be a very effective strategy.

I personally hate that our country had to experience the 45th president of the United States. If nothing else, he has shone a spotlight on the dangers and behavioral patterns of personality disordered individuals, so I guess I can be grateful for that. There are still a handful of flying monkeys clinging to the falsehoods and denying the truth that is right in front of them. My experience tells me that most flying monkeys come around eventually, and I believe that there will come a time in our country's history where we can collectively agree that Donald Trump was a horrible president and an even worse human being.

I also have to believe that the door has cracked open a bit and that change is coming in our broken family court system as well. And that sometime in the near future we will have a system that understands emotional abusive, coercive control, financial abuse, and most importantly, how personality disordered people operate. Until then, it's up to us to stand up and speak our truths, to not get sucked into defending ourselves from accusations that are absurd, or attempting to disprove blatant lies that feed into the notion that it takes two to tango.

I believe one of the most important things anyone can do when divorcing an abusive personality disordered individual is to understand their playbook and not let yourself get sucked into their chaotic meltdowns. I also believe that it's one of the most valuable things that I bring to the table with my coaching services. How and what to document, how and when (or if) to respond to communications, what to communicate yourself in the interest of "co-parenting" for the court. I use quotes because it is impossible to co-parent with a disordered person. It's parallel parenting at best. We'll build a profile for your abuser and develop strategies that let them show the court who they are. What's that saying about giving someone the rope? That's what I can help you do--give them the rope. They'll do the rest. Just turn on the news. You can watch it with your own eyes.

If you would like to know more about how I can help you with strategies to stay separated from the chaos, please click here and fill out the form to schedule your free 20 min. consultation.

*this is loosely translated and not actual text of the audio. Click here if you'd like to listen for yourself. Skip to 47 seconds if you want to go straight to the audio.

**This is also not actual transcription of his statements, but you can also hear some of those if you Google it because I don't have it in me to listen to any more of it to link here.

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