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What is a "high conflict" individual? What does a high-conflict divorce coach do and why should I work with one? See below for answer to these questions and more. Please contact me if you have questions you don't see answered here or to schedule your 30-min. consultation.

What is a "high-conflict" individual and how do I know if I'm dealing with one? 

A high-conflict individual (HCI) is someone who displays a variety of behavioral patterns that may seem perplexing to the average, reasonable person. They may have had little to do with the day-to-day care and nurturing of their children, but suddenly are demanding 50/50 or even 100% custody. They may exhibit narcissistic personality traits and care more about "winning"  or hurting the healthy parent than what is best for the children. They may be actively engaging in post-separation abuse tactics.

What is a high-conflict divorce coach (HCDC) and how is it different than a regular divorce coach?

A certified high-conflict divorce coach has completed a robust certification course created by Tina Swithin, author of Divorcing a Narcissist, creator of the online community, One Mom's Battle, and fierce family court advocate. She is a leader in the community and is passionate about educating judges, lawyers, and family court professionals regarding post-separation abuse. A high-conflict divorce coach understands the intricacies and challenges this type of personality can bring to a divorce proceeding and the importance of approaching the process with realistic expectations and a strategic mindset, in order to achieve results that  reflect the true best interests of the child(ren).

If I'm working with a high-conflict divorce coach, do I still need a lawyer? 

Absolutely! A high-conflict divorce coach is an additional tool in your toolbox, that should includes your lawyer, therapist(s), and supportive friends and family. A HCDC cannot provide legal advice or therapeutic services, but can help you with knowing what to look for and finding professionals that understand HCIs and are a good fit for you.

I'm concerned about the expense. Wouldn't it be more cost-effective to just stick with my lawyer? 

A HCDC will likely  save you money in the long run. The unfortunate truth is that most lawyers do not fully understand the challenges that HCIs bring to the equation and are not equipped to handle the myriad of situations that present themselves from a strategic mindset. For example, communication and co-parenting issues: if you are getting bombarded with threatening emails, texts, or phone calls and every time this happens, you're forwarding them to your lawyer, thinking "this will surely be the thing that shows the judge he/she is crazy", you would be mistaken. Not only that, but every time you do that, your lawyer is charging you for time to read said texts/emails, and advising you on how to respond. A HCDC can help you with communication and documentation strategies that not only present the information to the court in a much more effective way, but could potentially save you thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees. Your lawyer will likely be grateful for the streamlined communication and documentation that you're providing. Remember, your lawyer has many other clients and a limited resources. As a HCDC, I can help you work more efficiently with your lawyer and other court professionals (evaluators, mediators), saving you time and more importantly, money.

What if I'm well past the beginning stages of my divorce, or even post-divorce, but facing continuous legal challenges and false allegations? Can a HCDC still help?

Absolutely--it doesn't matter where you are in the process! We'll do a comprehensive intake session (60 min) where we'll dive into the details and work together to determine where you are, establish realistic goals, and come up with strategies to work towards achieving desired outcomes. It's never too late to start thinking strategically!

Why should I choose SpiritSong High Conflict Divorce Coaching?

I'm not going to tell you that you should! That's for you to decide. I truly believe that when we tune into our own intuition and learn to trust our instincts, that we open ourselves to receive the abundance and gifts that come our way. I believe that my own personal experience with HCIs and my natural ability to connect with people, along with  my certification as a high-conflict divorce coach, will attract the clients that I am best suited to serve and walk alongside on this journey. If you've made it this far, perhaps you're one of them? Contact me and let's find out!

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